Thursday, April 3, 2008

Please Forgive My Comrad MP

MP's very first post is in actuality my fault. I am on the lookout for a decent frame and the necessary parts to build it up. This will be my first build, and MP is admittedly excited that I am leaving the safety of bikes built for me by anonymous folks from abroad, and entering the broad all too hip frontier of putting my shit together. I was showing him these possibilities from the craigslist and voila...his sensitive punk-ass goes on a somnolescence inducing tirade. So please forgive him, he was talking shit on my behalf.

I would like to introduce the very first banned bike. A bike of my own. It was given to me and I nearly died on it every time I rode it. I took it apart, I put some new tires on there, tweaked some shit (read screwed and unscrewed various things to no effect) and decided I had better get rid of her. I admit I enjoyed the tinkering, but after a little while I began to see that there were some things I could never do to it and any money I put into it would be better spent on a safe, reliable and fun to ride bike. I eventually sold this bad-girl on craigslist to a very cool gentleman to whom I explained each fault I saw with the bike. In retrospect I should given it to him. I am somewhat sorry to have to do this but Free Spirit, you are officially banned.



Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Pictured Items Not Included

I really thought the first banned bike would be a Magna or a Huffy, and then maybe a Free Spirit. OK, for the maiden voyage of this shitty little blog, the first bicycle ban is going to be a ban on the sales protocol/ethics of some guy in Waterside, CA.

Pictured here is a nice looking 1977 Schwinn Super Le tour. This picture looks like a complete bicycle, or at least a ridable bicycle. Maybe it's set up as a single speed or maybe it's a fixed gear--it obviously does not have a rear gear cluster or rear dérailleur. Whatever. It does have, apart from the chrome lugs and steel frame, a saddle, seat post, handlebars, brakes, brake levers, bottom bracket, headset, fork, wheels and a crank. Fantastic, 100 bucks...SOLD! Wrong.

1977 chromed and lugged pimp-mo-bile. REALLY nice. Some peeling of clearcoat and mild rust, but no structural impact. Includes frame, fork, stem, crank and bottom bracket.

If you are keeping more than 50% of the itemized components pictured in your Craigslist ad, why not take the bike apart and snap a few shitty pics then? You're going to have to strip the bike eventually if you plan on selling only those items listed above.

I want to ban this bike because you are a lazy salesperson, but that stone wall is cool. Where is that stone wall? I want to roll up to Waterside and post up on that wall with my 2 wheeled pimp-mo-bile and snap a few pictures for my Flickr feed.

The Footnote:

Figures, someone from Orange County would get it right. And his/her email even references a John Lennon song, "Working Class Hero." God Bless the proletariat. Another cool thing about this ad is that the frame in the picture is resting against a framed New Order poster. I don't even like New Order that much, but it definitely boasts a certain edge, like "hey, I'm not at all afraid to admit that I am cool." This guy has it all figured out.

The seller either took the time to strip the frame of everything NOT being sold before taking this shitty picture from his LG, or he was the chump who showed up with 100 bucks thinking that he was going to ride home on a complete Bianchi only to be duped by some douche bag selling less than HALF of what appeared on Craigslist in the first place, and not wanting to show admit the misunderstanding, gave him the Benjamin and took the frame home and promptly put it up on Craigslist because he has absolutely no interest in building up bikes.

Something tells me that Working Class Heroes love building bikes--bikes not meant to be banned.

Another Message

I watch The Hills. I bike ride. I will eat your face. I am NOT Paramount Moots, nor do I want either of his/her bikes when she/he dies.

A message from the blogger

Ok. The toxic sludge flowing forth is intended as little less than simple meditation and personal amusement. But since we have blogs, you have blogs, I have blogs, they have blogs, well, then we get blogs, all types of blogs, easily hated and most likely surfed away from.

Sorry in advance.